T_T

Wanted to change my blogskin to a emo one... forget it.

Wow, It's me... See that? 

Look, that's me. And maybe Haslam too. We are both saddist. Ya, a word that I've just created. Saddist. I rock right?

Had a talked with Mil today and I can't believed that those words actually came out from my mouth. Amazing. This shows how much you guys have hurt me. Is just that I didn't show it in front of you people. Moreover, there's no point showing I guess.

Mid-year is coming and I am still here procrastinating. How awesome I am arh.

Told Haslam that I will open bar one day and it will be named FAC- Forever alone club/bar. And I will make this beer called "Loneliness " to all those who are out there feeling alone, don't worry, this drink are for you people.

No more happiness for me I guess. I have forgotten how happiness feel like. It's been a long time I really smiled with a happy feeling. I don't have that any more.

Forget it. No one will understand.

Are you the one?

Again.

Can't agree more with Haslam. Life is just so unfair. How can people be so not understanding now a days? What's with the society now a days? Tell me? What's wrong?

So.... Hey dude, there's nothing called "BEST FRIENDS FOR LIFE!" This is just a piece of shit.
Well, today, me and JY just saw the same thing happening in my clique again... Whenever there's something we notice, we will eye on one another. So... ya, it's the same problem.

And now the most suckish thing was that, whatever things I said or do in my clique, I HAVE TO BE VERY CAREFUL! Afraid of making them angry, afraid of them leaving me behind...

Seriously, whatever I've posted today is seriously 100% my true feelings.

Afraid of being alone? Half true. That incident happened in my primary school hasn't really gotten out of my mind. I was too afraid to being alone without friends again I suppose.

But how can I seriously get myself out of this uncomfortable friendship crisis? TELL ME MAN! TELL ME! HOW CAN PEOPLE BE SO NOT UNDERSTAND? - back to the question.

I missed those days when I was in Sec 2 and 1 when I made new friends and I don't have to really care about my action and what I spoke in front of my friends and just go crazy with them and they understand! BUT NOW? HA! YOU CAN'T YO! Like today, after I have finished my A-maths practice paper, I was so high and happy that I've completed all the question then I went siao and kept calling Nai Nai's name. Then what was Ray's reaction? Turn to XY and commented on my action. Wow thanks. I don't know if I am being too sensitive, but whatever you guys do or say in front of me, or even behind me, I take it and remember it. Okay, I admit, this was too sensitive. Find, let's drop it.

I don't know what I am living for now, seriously.

Sad life I have.

Just a little thought.

Who knows? Just had a talked with my care bear friend. How sucking friends can be. Woot. It's okay. I am sick and tired of it like seriously. The most sad things is that I am faking smile again. Congrats. And...... Okay it's stupid to let this matter affect myself. Fine. Fine. Fine.

Settle...

Settle for a while. Okay, that post is going to stay up till tmr at around this timing.

I have to accept how the world is make up of. I have to accept how human beings react.

Guess, I've been overreacted.

Sensitive?

Being sensitive this few days? Nah

Well, things hasn't been the same as Before I suppose?

Nvm, only I know what's going on and what's should the name be changed to. It's okay. People don't know, I know.

I really feel like crying now seriously. How people can be so not understanding. How long more I have to live on with this kind of life that how people is treating me. HOW LONG MORE?

And with friends who ain't sensitive and in their lalaland don't know what's going on. THANKS! STOP HURTING FRIENDS LIKE ME AND HASLAM! THANKS!

Is okay, I understand that no one will understand how I am feeling know. Thanks. I will go one corner, draw circle and cry now. Forget about the upcoming geography test.

FML

I guess.

從昨天
到今天
還有明天
感謝老天讓妳們陪在我身邊

愛的心
痛的心
等待的心
因為有妳們的擁抱我很放心

當初見面的不安彼此探索
也許有點茫然迷惑
朝夕相處才發現這世界中
沒有人比妳們更懂我

朋友 姐妹
都已不夠來形容
我們的默契驕傲扶持與包容
老婆 老婆
我們一起打勾勾
請記得約定的旅程到永久

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Best Friend for life! This lyrics suits it totally. 

But is there such thing as "Best Friend for Life? " Ya, Look at the inverted commas "" 

No, I doubt so. 

Turn down on playing 三國殺 with them and others yesterday. Don't really want to go. I rather stay at home and rot, but was with 糖醋魚 and B yesterday. :D I feel more happy with them yo! Ate my corn and Mr Bean 豆花. MY LIFE IS COMPLETE! No lah. Joke only. XD

I don't know what to say but... I really hate this feeling. Nvm, I shall ignore this as much as I could. Cuz It's affecting me now and I can't focus on my chem which is like I am having test tmr. SURE DEAD BEAT! T_T 

Guess I found someone who is in the same situation as me. Dude, hold on. It's gonna be over soon. 

还要一起冲

Friends...

My Love... They are currently My Love.

Friends... What are friends for? This was the thought of the day to myself.

Let's start with... 269 I suppose?

The clique that formed up in a second. I don't quite remember how we met each other and formed up. The unique name, added all our birthdays and this number- 269.

Sometimes, I find myself lucky and honoured to be in this clique. They are the ones that make me happy when I am down, the ones that I could talk to when I have problems.... I even have the thought that we could really be best friend forever and even go for a country trip when we grow up! Having outings, lunch or dinner even if we are busy with our work and so on....

But it was when I realised that things doesn't goes the way it suppose to. It was when this particular day JY, Jay and I walked together and started to think about the future of 269 and then three of us have the same thought - we won't go that far.

Just saw this tweet tweeted by Haslam: Having cliques inside your cliques. This is so true. Can't agree more.

I am not sensitive btw. This is what my cliques made me feel these few days. Seeing XY and Ray being so close like Sisters for life. And there was once, some of them went to study among themselves without letting others knowing that they are studying..... Frankly speaking, sometimes, I have no sense of belonging in this clique at all! But sometimes, I do. This is contradicting, I know.

If we graduated, are we going to be together or what I see was: Ray and XY going out together, maybe with Jon, KH or JY. Leaving Nai Nai and others aside?

Hope this will not happen.

JY.

Currently the "sisters for life"! LOL! I still have the scar on the hand yo. Have not fully recover....

The only and one person that we will have phone chats till 2am, the person that I share most of my problems with throughout the days when I was in Sec 3. 很難再遇到這樣的朋友了吧.

This year, we were back to close relationship again. Remember when we were in Sec 3, beginning of the year, she was with Mil, Ray and I. Mil and Ray were close and so was JY and I. Then slowly cuz of some unhappy situation, JY and I got drifted and I was together with Mil and she was with Ray. But now, as you can see, best friends do change. I suppose Ray's best friend is XY now rather than JY. I am REALLY GLAD THAT I HAVE FRIENDS LIKE HER!

Omg, this reminds me that I owe her something.... Hmm...

Mil.

Primary School friends VS Secondary School friends.

Hi Mil, friends for 9 years! XD

Glad to have such friends.

Still remember that day when I was feeling down about incident with XY and I, I didn't expect to got a sweet msg from her. Haha! This is what I called, my true friends. Although we ain't really that close when we were in Primary school, but at least now, she knows and I know too! 心有靈犀一點通！Ya Mil? XD

Let's head for 20 years? LOL! Really hope we can last.

糖醋魚

提到她就不得回想起去年那莫名其妙的事。。。

我只能說，那是可以避免的。

看似和好如初，但我知道我們是囘不了從前。但現在的我很滿意我們這樣的關係。每當我看到她在和某人摧背還是什麽的，我會想起兩年前的時候，超棒的咯！

現在，雖然有點難過，只能默默地看在，但我已心滿意足。XD

現在，就是現在吧。

進步中。　

Last and not to mention:

LSE.